Wednesday, May 21, 2008

What I really want to do

So lately, my life has been sort of low key. Things are pretty much routine. I work. I eat. I take care of the dog. Watch my TV shows. Play my video games. Clean the house when it's dirty. Go to church on Sunday. Earn money. Spend money. Sleep. nothing too exciting. And while most of the time, I really like just being laid back and routine, I sometimes find myself, like now, wishing I made more time for other things. Things that would be more meaningful, constructive, worthwhile, enriching, and productive. It's not even a matter of can't or won't. It's just that I don't make the time or the effort for these things, even though I do want to do them. At one point or another I have tried to incorporate them into my routines, but they never stick. So here's a list of things I wish I did, things that I can do, but I just haven't been able to motivate myself to do.

Play the piano more
I took lessons from the age of 8 and through part of high school. I've played in my church, I've played for weddings, and I've written a few songs of my own. But lately the keyboard sits in the back room gathering dust and odds and ends that need to be organized.

Train my dog
Our dog, Hannah, is beautiful. But she's also stubborn, willful, and mischievous when she wants something her way. Rather than training this out of her, we've learned to distract her with food, toys and what not until she stops. This is just lazy. She can sit, go to mat, roll over, play dead, and a few other tricks, but she really needs to learn some basics.

Work on our website
When my wife and I got back from Scotland, I put together what I thought was a pretty cool website of our pictures. It's still active at, but I haven't updated it in over a year, maybe two. For one, I really like to work in Flash MX, and now I'm over a year behind in the program. It's probably all different now. On top of that, the website is incomplete, and so much more could be added to it. I'd like to start it over from scratch and make it better. That will take time to learn new programs and set it up though.

Exercise more
I'm not a small person, and I would really like to have a better looking and healthier body. That's not unique, I'm sure most people would say they want to look better than they do. One thing I have done is kept up riding my bike to work, and eating less sugar. But so far it's been negligible. A year or so ago, my wife got me one of the coolest presents: a wooden sword for exercising. It's a whole exercise program using a sword. I mean, awesome. I kept it up for a few weeks before doing what I always do and neglecting it. I'd really like to pick that up and keep at it. I'm not convinced it will help me lose weight, but it would be good for me to exercise.

Learn more Russian
In high school I took three years of the Russian Language. In college I took a trip to Ukraine for 3 weeks, and developed a flash based teaching CD for the basics of the Russian alphabet. Since then, nothing. I have the books, I have the knowledge, I just need to work on vocabulary and grammar. Eventually, I'd like to take a trip to Moscow or St. Petersburg with the confidence that I can speak the language.

Write more
I have a couple blogs. That's more than I've ever had in terms of writing sources. I need to write in them more. I like fantasy and science fiction, and I like to create. I don't really consider myself good at it, but I don't really think I'll ever be a writer for tv/movies/games or even a book. Well, at least one that gets published. But you never know.

Compose music
This goes along with play the piano more, but takes it another step. I want to write music and actually record it. I did a very very rough recording of a song I wrote for my dad. I'll post it up later. My sister asked me to do it, and I decided to take the challenge. It was a lot of fun and I think I could get better at it. I would especially like to learn how to use Garageband on my Mac to record these things. There's a new mac store near where I work that might offer classes on these things. I should check that out.

Find a better job
It's not that I don't like accounting. I do, and I can make a career out of it that I'm sure will support me and my family into the future. But sometimes it is so repetitive, and mundane, and tiring, that I really wish I was doing something more dynamic, more creative, and with less routine, repetitive tasks. Since video games happen to be one of my biggest hobbies, I often think about working in the video game industry. Once upon a time, I dreamed of becoming a composer for games. I scrapped that idea when I started college and became a business major. But I still think about it. I can't code, I can't write, I can't model in 3D, but I just might be able to write music. It's something I wonder if I couldn't try my hand at on the side, while still keeping my day job.

I said earlier that I've tried to do a lot of this stuff, but can't maintain the routine. But I can't let that be an excuse not to keep trying to work this stuff (back) into my life. So maybe if I choose one, and try to do it half an hour every day, or every other day, it might just stick well enough for me to eventually get another thing in there. It might mean giving up some time in front of the computer, or the TV, but I know it would be worth it.

The first one to work in would need to be one of the smaller ones. Maybe just playing my piano for 30 minutes a night. Maybe I could by a book on the latest Flash MX and see if I can't reteach myself. Maybe I could get out my sword and exercise for 30 minutes. 30 minutes really isn't that much, but it could make a big difference.

1 comment:

Nathalie said...

You remind me of myself. I want to play more music (organ), I want to learn guitar, I want to work on my websites, I want to exercise and I want to find a better job, but I just don't seem to find the "courage" to get to it.

In my case I think I am a little depressed. I did a depression a few years ago and I believe I am still a bit into that. You might be as well. Or you just need motivation from someone.

What I did lately, I took a class of fencing. It took me a lot of courage but I finelly did it. And I find that it is giving me a lot of energy for other things. Suddenly I feel more like playing music and changing other things in my life. Try make a small change and maybe it will do the same. Little by little. That is my advice to you. Good luck!